Annoying people ... what to do

Sometimes strange and hilarious situations come up.  For instance there is a guy, we shall call him GR, in our department that has been there for what seems like forever.  It still took him a really long time to figure out who we were and I still am not quite sure if he knows.  But the story is really too long to iterate here.  The funny thing to report here though truly belongs in the quote book.

Anne is invigilating and GR along with her.  So we were innocently discussing this over lunch today and Anne remarked whether he would come over to her and ask her who she was. 

Catriona: Do you think he will come over and ask who you are! 'Are you the 'Welsh one'?'
Anne: I think I'd wet myself! (laughing hysterically)
Catriona: Oh, please, if you do, could you do it on his shoes.
Anne: I don't think I have that much self control!

After this we were all laughing hysterically. This truly made my day!

Everyone is a critic

During reading group, where we work our way through Old Irish texts we discuss the grammar.  Sometimes these discussions can get quite heated, entertaining and downright silly.

'I don't know why they do this .... but I really shouldn't be criticising their Old Irish.  It is better than mine.'

Prof. TOC on a certain grammtical problem we were working through in the Cath Almaine text.  He felt a bit sheepish criticising whey they did something that didn't make a grammatical sense, but felt it cheeky of him to disagree with those whose own language it was.  Is there any wonder why I love Old Irish.

I am not the only one

I have mentioned earlier that I tend to be a bit long winded when trying to explain things, but I am thankfully not the only one

'He doesn't flog the horse that he just killed'

Prof. TOC on clarifying how someone doesn't waste too many words explaning things

Annoyance

I actually stole this one of my friends Facebook status, it was too good to lose sight of

'I'd smack her head with the clawend of ham but I hate the sound of balloons bursting'
Claire

Remind me never to get on her nerves.

Good shoes are important

Recently I needed to pop into a shoestore in the obvious search of new shoes

Elín: I need to pop into a shoestore.  I am afraid my shoes are getting holey!'
Catriona: 'Yes, and not in a good way'

You can't get a better retort than that!

Genius

I like to drink Coke-Cola and everyone who knows me knows that

'I am a genius by nature, sponsored by Coke-Cola'
Elín

it wouldn't hurt if they would sponsor me through my PhD, I will even thank them in my thesis :)

Role models

We love our professors, they are like a show.  I think we could make good money selling access to them.

'I hope we never end up like Thomas or Dauvit though'
Catriona
'Yes, only slightly mad without the coats'
Elín

Crisps

Catriona and I went to a conference in St. Andrews, and on the way we had a bag of crisps which was 'breakfast flavoured' and we enjoyed trying to figure out what we were eating with each crisp, 'bacon', 'eggs', etc. and sometimes two or more flavours together.  It was great fun which lead to great conversation

'I once had a really bad nightmare about chocolate mint flavoured crisps!'

and

'It is amazing how long we can entartain ourselves over a bag of crisps!'

She was on a roll

'These crisps are magical'

and oops:

'I just had a Builder's Breakfast burp!'

She shouldn't be let out on her own :)

Speechless

Sometimes the quotes are so much more than that.  TOC, our professor was talking about a person linked with our department but was not sure if Catriona really was aware of who he was referring to

'Andew ... with the hair' (and made a motion with his hand indicating a lot of hair on the head)

It was hilarious, but at least we now know who Andrew is.

A night at the opera

Catriona and I went to the opera, to see La Traviata, which is one of my favourite operas.  The blog about the trip itself can be found at another blog but it is still quote worthy.  We sat next to a couple of women, who most likely for the lack of air, or at least we hope that is the reason, had brought fans with them and used them vigorously.

'I feel like an extra in Gone with the Wind!'
Elín

Catriona got the brunt of it

Elín: 'How is it in the hurrican section'
Catriona: 'North Easterly'

Nuns

We graduated in December 2008, and we could buy the hood for our gown to represent our degree.  Sandra bought hers but when she saw it she decided she didn't want it and sent it back. Her reason was

'It looks like a nuns habit made out of a nurses uniform'

good enough and Catriona second that sentiment with:

'I don't want to look like a nun!'
Catriona

Latin

I can't remember where I found this quote but it is so appropriate, and I heartily agree with it.

'Don't quote Latin, just say what you have to say and then sit down!'

Words to live by!

Cold is relative

At one time I was walking from Uni with Catriona and it was a bit chilly, but only refreshingly so I thought.  Catriona didn't think so

'It's cold ....

when she noticed the strange look on my face she added:   ..... oh Viking!'

phlablalalalal

For her work Anne was receiving training, and what she was training to do was drawing blood.  This actually has a name and it is a funny name

She is now a phlabotomist in other words a licenced bloodsucker

Stór augu / Big eyes

Sorry, but some quotes were bound to be in Icelandic, so excuse us.

Ég fór í Imax með vinkonu minni Hrafnhildi þegar hún kom í heimsókn

'Ég held að gleraugun mín séu ekki nógu stór!'
Hrafnhildur

Ok, here's a translation

I went to the Imax cinema with my friend Hrafnhildur when she came for a visit

'I think my glasses aren't big enough!'
Hrafnhildur

VAT

For Anne's 50th birthday I gave her a cup

'I'm not 50, I am 42 plus VAT'

I really wanted this cup but, I am a few years short.  Anne's son Ross remarked that it would be ok and that I could 'blame it on inflation'!

Love that!

Better late than never

I do not remember how many times Sandra was lecturing me about being on time, because there was a schedule to follow.  In the end it was always I who was left waiting

'I just woke up, so I will be late'
Sandra

This message quite frequently appeared on my mobilephone screen.

Academic snobbery

Apparently some courses are not thought of very highly

'Geography is an advanced colouring-in!'
Sandra

I am glad I am not doing geography :)

Fun at weddings

Jo's wedding was amazing and we enjoyed ourselves greatly

'It's fun to have the hickups!'
Claire

This of course was not the highlight of the day but it made the quotebook nonetheless.

New additions

At the birth of our Professor's first child, BNC and MB announced it to our class the reason for his absence.

BNC: TOC can't be here now as something came up!'
MB (in a low voice) : '... or out!'

Brilliant!

Criminal minds

Claire is one of our best friends, but she lives in the far away land of Dumfries so we don't get to see her very often.  Still in the few moments we do get to see her her comments manage to find their way into my book.  We were telling her about our trip to Dalbeattie, where we had to go through the town of Dumfries

'Was it after 4 o'clock? No, oh that's okay, the criminals were all still in school'
Claire and her rapier wit

Pure magic

This is a nice comment but I think I will have to have Catriona explain it as I am rather unsure what was the cause of it being made

'You are magical, aren't you!'
Catriona about Elín

Deep thoughts

Catriona has her blond moments

'I am not deep that way'
Catriona

Oui in many languages

Sandra: 'I am going to have a wee!'
Elín: 'oh a wee wee!'
Sandra: 'No, in fact I am going to pee!'
Elín: 'Ah, oui!'

Violence

Sandra was fiddling with some self-defence classes and was showing off to Catriona at one point.  It didn't go well

'You couldn't take on a gnat'
Sandra to Catriona over her puny efforts

More on hats

Some of the hats were just plain ridiculous

'It looks like a hens arse on the head'
Elín

and some of them were really expensive ... you somtimes wonder about people.  We didn't buy any of them :)

Hats

Our friend Jo was getting married and we knew she wanted a real proper wedding where guests showed up with monstrous hats etc, so we went hunting for hats

'Feathers, really don't become you'
Elin to Catriona, when she was modelling hats for Jo's wedding

Long winded

I have said this before, English is not my first language.  As such it sometimes takes me a while to get to what it is that I am trying to say (like this sentence).  This often comes out funny

'It lacks a cohesive narrative'
Elín unable to voice 'lacking a plot' about a film she had just watched

On the go

We were going to Dalbeattie and programmed Tim to get us there

Sandra: 'It should take us 1h58min depending on how I drive'
Catriona: We should time him'
Elín: 'He should know by now how you drive'
Sandra: 'He's not that intelligent'

We arrived there safely and on time :)

E-numbers

I don't really remember this and therefore have no idea of the context.

Catriona: 'Oh, she's hyper ... I don't think she should be anything with e-numbers'
Elin: '... or anything beginning with chocolate'

I think we were discussing Sandra

Welsh

I love the Welsh language, especially Middle Welsh (or what we call really old Welsh language).  And I also loved listening to my professor speaking in Welsh, he sounded like he was a drunk that lisped.

Elin: 'You're dyslexic right?'
Sandra: 'Yes!'
Elin: 'How does that work with Welsh?'

There are quite a lot of consonants in general use in Welsh, and also, one consonant is used as a vowel too, so it's all a great big party of strange letters.

Bananas!!!

Sometimes when you are tired it is just best to shut up, then you can avoid this

Elín: Bananas are the best.  Bananas are the best fruit .... are they fruit???

Sometimes I shouldn't be let out

If you live in Scotland you better learn to love rain

Downpours are not uncommon in Scotland, and if you are like me someone who can't for the life of them master the use of an umbrella, this happens:

'Until I came to Scotland I didn't think it possible to drown standing up.  I have now reached another conclusion'

And on the subject of umbrellas, I have never figured out why holding a piece of cloth on a stick up in the air seemed like a good idea when the weather, rather intelligently just changes direction and comes at you from all other direction than the one your stick is facing!!!

Vocabulary can be tricky

This quote occurred when my friend was studying for her Old Norse exam.

'no telling what bloody vocab will turn up .... no pun intended'
Sandra

Following this immensely entertaining quote came a comment that beat every other ever made before.

Sandra (muttering): '...bloody vowel changes ...
Catriona: '..What Belgians???'

Cleaning

I had to move flat over the summer of 2008, I moved the day before going to Orkney, so when I came back there was the humongous task of setting my room up for me to sleep in when I came back.  The room I had been allocated was not a nice room at all, very filthy and not up to my standards to say the least.  So the day after I came back I went shopping for all sorts of cleaning products.

'Oh my, two packs of Parazone ... we are serious'
Sandra on the cleaning products that I have stored in my bathroom since cleaning it from top to bottom.

Just to clarify I used a lot more than that trying to clean the bathroom.

The elusive mind

Catriona has the most uncanny way with words

'I am not a thinker througher'
Catriona, on something that didn't quite add up.

Who is Bob???

I have no idea who Bob is, but it was documented!

'I like Bob, he lives with Tim'
Catriona

Where does Italy come into this

I have no idea, but things happen when girls are talking.

'To be fair; they do speak Italian in some parts of Italy'
Catriona
......
'This book must never get into the wrong hands'
Catriona, on having said the quote above.

Rough country

This happened on our way to Birsay, which we discovered was actually an island, passable only at certain times when there was low water, and we were able to walk over to there.  Now this only meant that it was only slight less wet than when the sea was actually covering the path over to Birsay.

Sandra: 'It's all right! I have clean pair of jeans.'
Elin: 'I have a skirt'
Catriona: 'I am doomed'

Genetics

Hmm, not really sure how to explain this comment, as I don't remember how it came about.  But it is funny none the less.  Although I do think she is referring to Orkney.

'How inbred do you think this island is?
Sandra

Lost on Rousey ... how is that possible

Rousey is basically a very tiny isle that you can drive in ten minutes, and that is because there is only one road and it takes you in a nice wee circle around the isle.

'We are not lost ... we are just not going in the right direction'
Catriona on not finding the right way to Rouseys only shop. 

Bravery comes in all shapes and sizes

During our ferry trip over to Rousey, we were a bit concerned by the close proximity of the cars around us and our close proximity to the starboard.  It was so tight we couldn't get out of the car.  Catriona sat in the rear and was quite concered if the car would go overboard.

'I don't want to be the one who dies!'
Catriona

Cuisine

The cusine around the world can be intriguing, and sometimes just plain strange.

'The Scots are very fond of their soups, aren't they? In Wales we are too poor for that.  We have cawl, which is basically anything you find in a cupboard liquified!'
Sandra
'How appealing!'
Catriona (probably meaning 'appalling')

The rain in Spain

Our chalet was situated very nicely by the sea, or a wee inlet rather.  It was quite nice looking out the window and seeing the sea.  Since coming to Glasgow I have missed not seeing it.  But that didn't keep me from being cheeky.

Sandra: 'Ooooh, it has rained quite a lot since last night!'
Elín: 'No, that's the sea!'

Ferry ride

On the ferry, either going to Orkney or going back.  These quotes stopped being in chronological order after some time.

Sandra: 'Is that Scotland up ahead?'
Catriona: 'I have no idea.'
Elín: 'Well, it looks quite big!'

Sleeping in

We had been pushing ourselves quite a lot during the holiday of waking early and doing stuff, because there was so much to do and so little time to do it.  But in the end we relented and discussed allowing Sandra to sleep in the next day.  Wondering what Catriona and I could do while so as not to disturb Sandra, Catriona suggested this:

Catriona: 'We can go for a walk before Sandra wakes up.'
Sandra: 'Well, if you do, my postcards need posting!' she pleads beseechingly
Catriona: 'It's not going to happen!' in a rather firm tone of voice, although slightly amused too.

Shame

Mentioned earlier, Catriona really likes to narrate things.  Unfortunately we don't remember to which inanimate object this refers to but it is entertaining none the less.

'I would narrate it but that would be shameful'
Catriona

Postcards

We had a really hard time coming up with what we wanted to say in the tiny square on the postcard.

'Writing this postcard is harder than an essay .... shall we do a poem?'
Elín

Walls

My favorite word, and don't expect me to explain it.  There are so many memories, hehehe.

Sandra: 'But that may offend someone in the department.'
Elín: 'Why, they seem to like walls!'

Sandra was a bit exasperated with me here, because I wanted to write something about nice walls on the postcard we sent the Celtic department.

Articulate

English is not my first language and so I sometimes struggle with what I am trying to say, hence my use of lengthy words.

'You tend to use really long words at really odd times of the day'
Catriona (as if we couldn't guess!)

This bracketed comment was made by Sandra.

Wales of all places

Sandra is from Wales, and she often speaks of home.  At some point she was talking about a person called Dai, short for David.

Elin: 'Why do they call them Dai?'
Catriona: 'In Wales they call these people Dai!'

This was said in a very sombre voice filled with deep knowledge and understanding.

Sandra but could have been Catriona

As mentioned previously, tea was the 'beverage de trip' (aside from my cola) and so of course some wisdom would be expected to follow in it's wake:

'All things are solved by tea'
Sandra

The Green Goblin

Sandra's car was the reason we were able to make this journey, and for which we were very thankful for.

'A well deserved pat on the dashboard'
Elín commenting on Sandra patting the car of carting us about Orkney.

A bite to eat

Poor Sandra was apparently considered very edible by the local insects, she had bites all over her.  Catriona and I were thankfully completely left alone.

'You have been bitten a lot.  It is a sad affliction bravely borne.'
Catriona (referring to Sandra's insect bites)

Holidays can be exhausting

Very often the things we got up to doing while in Orkney were rather tiring, so comments like these weren't completely unheard of:

'I'm so tired my teeth hurt'
Elín

Skara Brae???

This has to be my favourite quote of all from Orkney, and the best thing about it ... I CAUGHT IT ALL ON VIDEO!!!

Catriona: 'This is going to sound like a stupid question, but why is it called Skara Brae?'
Sandra: 'I have absolutely no idea!'

Now this is only funny if you are a celtisist, had been there and knew us.

Chocolate Scrabble?

Sandra: 'How does chocolate Scrabble work?'
Catriona: 'I don't know, but I think it involves eating!'

Catriona's mum had sent her with a surprise gift for us, which turned out to be edible Scrabble.

I am not quotable

Although it is funny to jot down all the strange and funny comments flying around me, I was a bit sad that few of my clever bits made it into the book.  Sandra made me feel a bit better.

'You are the recorder ... but we can't play you!'
Sandra

Ice breaker

Sometimes you just need to get a conversation started, so what better way to break the ice than to ask a question and get the ball rolling from there.

'What is your favourite kind of tractor'
Catriona to Sandra

I wasn't included in this question as I am not a country bumpkin :)

Directions are important

Although we were only on Orkney and not a lot of chance of getting lost. You can only drive in so many circles there really.  But it was still a challenge to stay on course sometimes, especially when we didn't use good old Tim.

'We are going in the right direction ... roughly'
Catriona, on our way to Skara Brae.

Ogham

Sandra has a very bright future ahead of her in the field of stone-goggling.  She was showing us her kowledge of ogham. 

'Ogham is like crazy braille'
Elín on being introduced to Sandra's world

Fluffy socks

It is important to feel happy and content when on holiday and it doesn't ruin it when your friends spoil you rotten.

'My toes are quite happy'
Catriona when Sandra was stroking her toes in their fluffy socks

Tea was very often mentioned

Tea is a very popular drink in Britain, and my friends are no exceptions from the fans of this beverage.  So naturally it is not the same how it is made, and they do have standards!

'Tea shouldn't be so weak that I could piss stronger'
Sandra on weak teas

Useful bits

Underwear that is shocking when it wasn't supposed to be can be funny!

'There are boys on them ....
There is kissing on them ....
Something that says 'You've made my day' in a not very good place'
Sandra, lamenting not having read what it said on her comic underpants.

She is going to kill me for putting this on the net!

Again with the drinking

Well, you can't go on a holiday and stay sober all the time. 

'The world isn't ready for my ingenious'
Sandra
and this caused Catriona and me to wonder about Sandra's sobriety and rationality...

I can fly, I can fly

Sometimes my evil twin took over and I started teasing Sandra, not in a nasty way but even Sandra has her limits.  At one point she even threatened to leave me behind, causing me slight grief.  But I wasn't too concerned:

'Excuse me! There IS an airport!'
Elin not faced with being left behind on Orkney.  And yes, there apparently is an airport, I saw it on the map.

Liver and tripe

Compared to Catriona and me, Sandra was the big drinker on the trip, which is to say she had more than us but that's only because Catriona and I are rubbish at alchohol.  But we did voice this concern at one stage and Sandra had a ready answer.

'The liver is the evil organ ... it must be punished!'
Sandra

What else is there

Hmmm, when you don't believe in God it's tricky to get away from all the 'Oh, God' and such.  So Catriona and I decided to try to help Sandra:

'Oh dear deities!'
Catriona and Elin

I think we did well!

Musicfool

Over the course of the week we found ourselves talking about anything and everything, including music.

'Dudu durudu'
This was Sandra doing a little dance trying to explain to me the title song in Reservoir Dogs.  I didn't get it ... and I still don't!

Snob

We managed to enjoy ourselves even if there were no wine glasses to be found, but I still found it quite strange to drink wine from a normal glass.

'It's not as if I filled the beaker'
Sandra on drinking wine from a tall glass.  Apparently I was rather appalled at having to settle for a regular glass instead of a wine glass.  Oooo what one must settle for when not staying at a four star hotel ;)

A good trip needs a narrator

Catriona had the strangest quirk that we discovered on our journey.  She likes to narrate dead things, among the few we actually counted and wrote down are:

Socks

Road bumps

Sand
Tim
donuts
food
cake

etc

and toothpaste

and then she objected to the idea of having narrated toothpaste

'not even I would narrate toothpaste, that would just be stupid .... as opposed to all the other things I narrate!'
Catriona

Suspicion

'You look like Cú Chulainn about to have his 'warpspasm'!'
Catriona to Elin. 

Apprently Sandra had said something that made me look at her in a suspicious way.  Can't for the life of me remember why.

Tea can be entertaining

'Oh, I just spilled'
Catriona, for the upteenth time

Lost in translation

Some quotes have lost all connection to reality, and are just funny because we laugh at it still even though we don't remember why.

'I am not gonna eat it!'
Elin (not referring to food)

Compliments

Giving people compliments can be tricky!

'You are yawning like a horse'

This was Catriona trying to pay Sandra a compliment ... we think.  When we expressed our concern about this, she tried to clarify this comment. 

'the degree of which you managed to open your mouth!'

..... I am still speechless

Who is Tim - take 2

We had sort of taken it for granted when Sandra had introduced us to Tim, our sat-nav guy.  So we were a bit concerned when Sandra said:

'I hope his name is Tim!'

kind of hoping that she was right because we kind of liked the name Tim for our wee guy.  So we went looking, and after browsing through the multitude of options we found out his real name:

'His name is actually Sean, but we shall call him Tim'
Elín

and so for the rest of the trip he was Sean, affectionately called Tim!!!

Getting older ....

'There was something funny ... but what was it?'

This was mentioned numerous times on the trip, by all of us. Usually after a long bout of laughing at something that ceased to be funny ages ago.  Or at least we don't know because we can't remember ... heheheh.

Mooooooo

While on board the ferry to Orkeny I saw this newspaper clip.  I found it funny and wanted to share it with you, although I have no idea what the article was about.

'Cows go wild but not mad'

Not convinced....

For some reason only I think this quote is funny, but then that's me.  I have a weird sense of humour.

'I hope the saint's won't get cross!'
Catriona

the operative word here being 'cross'!

Playing games

While we were waiting to board the ferry to Orkney we played a game.  We began saying a name, should be a movie star, or something, and from there the game continued, with the next person saying a name that began on the letter the last name ended.  In the end we were getting quite tired, and when someone said Minnie Driver, Catriona piped up:

'Minnie Driver has a chin that could chop wood'
Catriona

Now now, no need for that

Following on from the previous comment on Tim annoying us with his continuous repetition if we didn't obey his instructions.  Catriona at one point lost her composure:

'Tim is a moron!'
Catriona

My turn

Tim, our sat-nav boyfriend on the trip, used to complain and repeat himself quite a lot when we didn't follow his instructions to the letter.

'Tim repeats himself quite a lot.  I think it is because he is an Irishman and used to be ignored.'
Elín

Doh...

We stopped in the small but nice village of Ballachulish (heheheh, I love that name) where Sandra and Catriona invested their money in a bag of mini doughnuts.  During the drive the contents of the bag diminished rather alarmingly fast, or at least that's what Sandra thought.  Apparently the culprit was Catriona:

'Donuts are a well known antidote to car sickness'
Catriona

cheeky!!!

Who is Tim

Tim was our sat-nav guide!  He did an amazing job but sometimes he was a bit too ambitious.
When we were near Inverness we wanted to find a petrol station, now since Tim is an intelligent guy we asked him. 

He showed us Tesco in Dublin, Ireland on the map.

Horses ....

Sandra talked us into going horseback riding.  It went really well, mostly because they were complete nags, as were we.  It wasn't until the day after that the effects of the horseriding became clear.

'It hurts where it starts to get naughty!'
Sandra

Birds of a feather ....

I saw a lot of strange things on my way across Scotland, but also many wonderful things.  At one point I saw a group of deer in a clearing, in what looked like a fenced off area.  From this began an interesting conversation about all sorts of livestock farming that was going on in Britain today.
Among them an ostrich farm:

'...but it didn't take off!'
Catriona

Describing the countryside

While driving up to John O'Groats, the northern most part of Scotland, Sandra was unable to pay too much attention to all the marvelous things flying past us.  At one time we were passing a strange looking triangle-like stone wall beside a cliff, through the wall was a hole or an opening through which a train might have passed at one point or another.  Considering that it was not being used as such any longer it was strange to see something stand like this so abandoned in the landscape. Catriona did her best to describe it to Sandra:

'There is a triangle thing with a thing in it'
Catriona, 2008

Orkney 2008, Day 1

'The flaw in any life-plan is the lack of a castle'
Catriona

This quote was the first that made it down on the page in my notebook.  It had seemed like a good idea when going off to Orkney to bring a small notebook to write down anything and everything and it ended up being the start of what is to come.